I literally exploded out of the start gates at the beginning of this year. Quite how it is nearly August already, I honestly don’t know! It’s been absolutely fabulous, I am loving every moment! However, I always find it ironic that during these periods of rapid change, it’s our personal and emotional growth which seemingly have a tough time keeping up.
I have always been a worrier! It’s in my genes! If there was an award for worrying, I would have won it many times over!
I have spent such a lot of my life thinking about the ‘what if’s’! The thing is that most of our “what if” thoughts tend to be negative! They always seem to be as a result of deep seated worry or self doubt. We all have these thoughts to a greater or lesser degree – I am sure you are thinking of at least a few of these which have popped up in your thoughts recently as you are reading this! On occasion, we can all suffer from a lack of self esteem where we don’t fully trust in our skills and abilities – it’s often demonstrative of a stage of personal growth or at a point where we are about to step out of our comfort zone.
I have also spent increasingly more time over the past few years exploring ways and means of changing my thought processes. One concept is to think positively – easier said than done though…I know! But the more we understand ourselves, our emotions and our thought processes, the more we are able to practice, so over time the easier it becomes and eventually it can become a classically learned response. We are creating new patterns, new habits, new emotional reflexes which replace those old ones. And of course, the more we feel positive, happy and comfortable at dipping our toe in the water on the outside of our comfort zones, they actually really do grow and get bigger!
So, instead, what if we flipped everything on its head and started using our ‘what if’s’ as positives instead of negatives? What if it was so much fun? What if I really enjoyed it? What if I was actually pretty good at it? What if I had a humble self belief? I do believe there is a element of our society and culture which associates self belief with severe arrogance or extreme egotism. And yes, we will all have met someone somewhere at some point who has an ego the size of a continent and arrogance to match, but this is a million miles away from a quiet, calm, genuine self belief and humble confidence in our own skills and abilities.
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive, you’ll start having positive results – Willie Nelson
The power of positive thinking is extremely well researched and documented. The industry based on these scientific principles is enormous and offers far greater benefits for us than focussing on negatives. The science of psycho-cybernetics proves that we actually in control of and thus create our own outcomes based on what is in our sub-conscious mind. If the pictures in our minds are the successful outcome – the result will be, if the pictures instead are of exactly what we are afraid of – guess what the results are going to be!?
The fear of the unknown or the uncertainty of what may happen is usually what stops so many of us from pursuing what we want to pursue. It’s how we go about dealing with this that is the key to moving forwards. Our self doubt is what drives our negative thoughts, yet if we look back, I am sure that we can all see that each time we questioned ourselves, we actually ended up getting it done and probably really well too! We are all capable of doing so much more than we believe we are capable of achieving.
“Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome – Samuel Johnson
Think back to a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone. Wasn’t it exciting? Didn’t it actually build your confidence and self belief in yourself? Interestingly, this is exactly how the horses begin to feel too as they develop their self belief and confidence levels when we train using positive reinforcement! Its truly empowering! And so much fun!
It’s so easy to say ‘don’t be afraid’, or ‘have more self confidence’ or ‘don’t think about the worst case, just think about the positives’. The truth is that the application of this can be much more difficult indeed. But if we can, just like our horses, over time as we enrich ourselves and those around us with the power of positive thinking, our minds and emotions change and we find ourselves living the dreams we never ever thought were possible.
I will leave you with the following quote, which I am very thankful to Helen Spence for sharing with me:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
– Marianne Williamson
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